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  • drnicoladepaul

That time my daughter yelled "sh**t" in a bookstore

Here's my top Lesson from 2022:

You have more power than you think. I have been learning this lesson in many different settings over the past year. And I'm learning to recognize that when I get caught up in feeling invisible and ineffective, I'm not paying attention to the power of my daily actions and interactions.

Occasionally, I get caught off guard by my influence on someone else. This isn’t always positive, like the moment in a bookstore this morning when my daughter yelled out “shit!” and my husband looked at me because I’m the parent who was raised by a Marine and who sounds like one sometimes (okay, far more often than I would like to admit). We all have the power to influence the safety and supportiveness of our environment. But this requires us to pay attention and take responsibility for our actions.

To me, leadership is not equivalent to being an influencer. Leadership is taking responsibility for our impact on this planet and using our influence to create good and to advocate for others’ well-being.

Sometimes using our influence is costly. And it’s often unpopular. Another lesson I’ve learned over the past few years. But for me, the cost of silence is higher than speaking up.

Take care,


p.s. I explored the ideas of leaders’ responsibility to create psychological safety by paying attention to the needs of lower-powered people within our healthcare community in an article written for KevinMD. Check it out. I’d love to hear what you think!

To complement the How To season, I created an organizational well-being assessment that will walk you through my framework and help you to identify gaps and action steps right now. Check out the video-based mini-course!

Season 2: How to create cultural transformation.

The “How To” season of Menders is coming soon. This will be a bonus solo season and an experiment that I hope you enjoy! Catch my teaser episode to get an idea of what I’ll share with you in January.

Season 3: Women leaders’ perspectives on creating healthcare transformation.

Did you know that burnout and well-being have everything to do with brain science? Honestly, I didn’t realize that brain science fundamentals are critical for leaders to understand until I spoke with Dr. Mary Rensel this week. Mary shared her tips as a woman leader in healthcare, mom of three adult daughters, and a brain doc. What a gift! I am excited to share our conversation with you soon, but for now, enjoy the clip below.

A favorite from the archives.

If you have ever wondered how to think about challenging healthcare environments from an occupational health perspective, listen to my conversation with Dr. Steve Hunt. Plus you’ll get to hear about how I came up with the name for Menders and what it means to me!

Candid Conversations & Speaking Engagements

I am motivated to spread the word about how we can all go about repairing relationships and mending health systems. If your organization would benefit from a candid conversation about burnout or an interactive presentation on well-being and organizational transformation, I would love to hear from you. Reach out to me to share your needs and discuss the details.

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